Ive never been one to make a huge deal out of the end of the year, its a man made date, it doesn’t REALLY signify all that much in my mind.  This year however….I am really glad to have a fresh start.  Although my fresh start basically began in mid December when I was pretty much robbed!  Set me back quite a bit, not just monetarily, or mentally, but mostly with my site.  Kinda hard to cam and keep a happy face when my life was in chaos and I was scared to be in my own home.  Thankfully though, everything is returning to normalcy now.  I have never been one to take shit sitting down, so instead of freaking out even more (I was already stressed with personal life issues) I said fuck it you cant knock me down!  And so here I sit…on a tiny ass bed! (OK its a double its not that small….I miss my king size)  in my empty apartment, looking forward to everything this new year has to offer.  It’ll be difficult sure, but I’ll be back on my feet and at least I have my health, my friends and my family.  They have been amazingly supportive and have no idea how much I love and cherish them truly!

It really gives you a new perspective on the importance of things when all of the sudden you have none.  I mean Ive started over a many time in my life, but never this way. unwillingly, taken from.   Now I look at the things I had and think what did they even really matter?  Creature comforts for sure!!!!!   Important?  Not really.

So anywho….after getting locks changed, and settling my nerves with basically a week long drunk spree with girlfriends, I’m feeling better lol.  Ready to rock 2011 and make it the best year yet!  So I hope y’all are ready for whats coming, I’m a be in your face at least 5 days a week on webcam, plus all the goodies that are coming to the updates once again very soon!

Hope everyone had an awesome new years, I got my new years kiss I’m happy haha  (very very happy) Also hope y’all had a great holiday season, and if not….fuck it lets rock 2011 and let the haters kill themselves lol!

Come find me tomorrow on www.onhercam.com Ill be on from around 8pm pacific time till who knows when  And of course member chats Wednesdays at 9pm pacific time!
~xoxo Cam

This is going to be long, no worries, read if u want, if not, there will be free nudes again soon i promise lmao

My internet being so intermittent has left me with an ungodly amount of time on my hands to sit and think.  Kinda wish A) i wasnt that addicted to the internet so my lack of wouldnt be such a huge shock to my mentality, and B) Really wish my internet was back cause im spending to much time with my own thoughts!

So here goes, who feels like peering into my brain a bit?  Shall we?

I love my website.  I love doing the camshows.  I love shooting pics, I love making vids and I love blogging.  I also love my friends and family……This is were it gets tricky.  They are truly an amazing bunch of people.  With my family ive been blessed, them being very accepting and understanding, and out right think what i do is my own business, and have raised me to be a free thinker and not have any issues/regrets with what i do in life, yay!  As dysfunctional as some of them can be, im grateful for the person ive become throughout the journey thus far.

My friends as well, im finally at a point in my life were ive learned to pick and choose the people i surround myself with, im extremely social, yet really gaurded…its a scorpio thing im told haha.  Never the less, they are really amazing crazy awesome people, accepting, supporting, everything you would want in friends.  As a few of them have put it, were like chosen family hehe, i love that.

Dunno if you can see were this is going yet heh….So being the accepting understanding amazing people that i feel everyone in my life truly is, they all know what i do, im an open book……to a point.  Basically they could know all of it.  Maybe less maybe more then they let on i dunno, doesnt come up to often, when it does i kinda skirt around it because well, as much as it is a part of me its separate from the rest of my life.  Online/Social/Personal.  Three different bubbles….a select few are intertwined in all of them.

Google is a hell of a drug lmao.  Anyone can google anything they want, with great results…or whatever, insert your preferred search engine here haha.  Cant hide shit!  So occasionally, i get a lil freaked out and disturbed by how much of my online life, is beginning to intersect with my personal and social life.

Back when i first started doing camshows, no one knew what i was doing, know one knew who i was.  I was pleasantly underground, and had a freaking blast!  but i wanted more.  I wanted a site, mostly because it was easier for me to work with people to get my name out there and once you make a name online even in a small group,  its more people who know of you, more work you get, know what i mean?  No one wants to hear that side of the business, but lets be honest, my site isnt free  So this is probably obvious lol!  Anywho, when no one could google  me, i could say whatever i wanted, any dirty fucking thought i had, i could talk to people about.  I will admit it now openly…and well basically publicly(im sure your all like, um DUH..drumroll) I am that fucking over sexualized, im into that much dirty kinky stuff, and i cant get enough haha.  I started doing this because frankly i love sex, talking about it, doing it, watching it, solo or otherwise.  I used to love talking about my sex life, getting laid, positions or toys or the porn i was watching, when i was horny and what i wanted heh, this is my online life Camerella, and i fucking enjoy it!

But….now, when everyone and there mother can find this stuff, i feel ive been censoring myself, i dont talk as frankly as i once did (um HI “only talking about updates and when im online”…sorry ive been a bore lately), I hide alot of my actual desires and wants because i dont really want to hear about it later from people from the other bubbles lmao, makes things a bit awkward, i dont care if they know about it, hell good for you if thats what ur into, but i dont need to know unless i ask haha.  Selfish? Maybe, but i dont care regardless  (Even writing this now im a tad worried, but i suppose if anything comes of it, ill know if everyone really is as amazingly awesome as i think, or if i put them on pedestals. )

I mean in 2003 i didnt have twitter or facebook, or a billion social market sites so open to the world, pic sharing sites, people recording my stuff, posing as me all over the damn place.  I really let loose then, and feel it was almost therapeutic.  Imagine yourself in my shoes for a sec, you can search for porn, talk to camgirls/models, masturbate/blow ur load and no ones the wiser…not the case for the models/camgirls tho.  Now the whole world can see if they want to, and sometimes i just geek out at the thought.  Im going to try n not worry about it to much tho, because fuck it thats me, I am open and honest about who i am, if thats a problem its mine, and i can handle it as i wish, if i want to be over sexualized, slutty, and talk about tits ass and big cock all day i fucking will haha.  Anywho, i had to get that off my chest, sometimes i hide from online and get overwhelmed and dont know how to get back to what i enjoy, so now im saying fuck it, i love my “job” and i wouldn’t change it!  No more, censoring myself or letting my true sexual expressions be repressed for fear of judgement, cause i dont judge or regret anything,  Im not scared of what could happen anymore if i go all out.

Hope you enjoyed my ramblings!  I REALLY need steady internet back haha, to deep, Camerella, to deep.
~xoxo

So i posted my new cam schedule for when i do shows at www.onhercam.com I’ll be camming there Monday through Friday from 7pm-11pm pacific time.  5 days a week, 4hrs a day you can be sure to catch me on then!

I had planned to start today but got some sad news last night and im pretty exhausted emotionally today.  My grandfather on my mothers side had fallen in his home and got stuck i guess and was there for two days!  He literally lives less then ten minutes from me and we prolly drive by there all the time!  He’s usually travelling though, or out doing whatever 80yr olds do,  dunno, so i dont see him too often, but drive by his house probably multiple times a month (my whole family lives near me and mostly within blocks of each other…)  I was a lil crushed when i found that out because i dont feel i take my family for granted at all, i see them all the time, but i hadnt really seen him lately.  He got taken to the hospital and as far as i know is still there, were trying to get him a life alert or something, it was just really sad.   He’s ok and everything,  but i cant imagine being trapped in your home for two days and no one knowing, glad it didnt turn out worse!  So anywho ive been dealing with family all night/day and am just exhausted and a lil upset still, but im just relaxing and trying to not feel like i need to be there 24/7 now i do have my own life i gotta take care of as well!!!

So yah, sorry i hadnt posted much the past few days, it isnt the most exciting news you want to hear or read i suppose.  But its real, and thats that heh.  Tomorrow is titty Tuesday, i found a new pic hosting place for twitter since twitpic booted me….hater-ades!  So ill be posting a few sneak peaks for my followers on twitter, and of course here as well!!

Cant wait till i can do my weekly member shows for you all as well!!!  I think the software issue is being fixed like asap, or it may have been already…i think i said id be doing the weekly hour long member shows on Wednesday’s at 8pm pacific time.  Ill know soon enough, and yall better be there too!!  Well im gunna go chill for a bit, maybe eat something, dont think i have yet today heh, prolly why im getting a head ache too, stress makes a mess outta people thats for sure!  Ill catch yall tomorrow for titty tuesday!!
~xoxo

I feel this has a lot to do with who i am today.  Ive got mad ninja skills….elusive Camerella I am!  Pretty damn pimp…”you cant pimp me, ima pimp myself” <—(I forget what song that lyric is from, anyone?)…..And we all know about my superhero abilities right?  I mean hello, suffocating bad guys with my tits is my trademark kiss of death!

Ok im in a weirdo mood today, it may have something to do with the caramel bugles i ate and the energy drink im downing….sugar over load!  But….i also had a song from a fave childhood cartoon pop into my head earlier today at random and was like omg i forgot about that cartoon, i used to LOVE IT!!  That cartoon being Darkwing Duck!  Lmao…and then i remembered his outfit….so pimp ninja superhero ….and then it came to me, i idolized that, and made it my own….no, no im kidding, seriously, but it was funny.  You dont notice that shit as kids, but looking at him now i was like wow, thats a pretty rad outfit!  And i love purple, and he was purple….coincidence?  Probably yes…..

Ive got a free chat tonight yall better not miss!!  I could prolly use some human interaction, my thoughts are getting a lil whacky on my own 8pm pacific time!!!  Details here:
http://www.onhercam.com/forums/index.php/topic,14051.0.html

You know….ive never ate duck either, and prolly wouldnt….ok……   [/end] weirdo mode….have a happy humpday!!
~xoxo

Maybe I’m just being uber sensitive today, but if its not one thing its another it seems!  So yah my day has been a lil irritating i guess i can put it.  Family is gone, had a blast hanging while they were in town, but today it was back to business as usual, or so i thought.  No, no lets just make some lemonade today…ive def got alot of lemons lol!

Haha so it started out with my webcam, i got a new one, installed it, works great love it.  Doesnt work on OHC yet tho, so i was under the impression i can just plug my old one back in and itll work dandy….yes and no.  Yes i can plug my old one back in but it had to update for effing EVER!!!!  Haha and now its just going really slow, my whole laptops going slow, like shitty virus slow, i hope thats not the case tho….cams working fine now at least for broadcasting, just when im taking pics, it stalls for ever.

So after that frustrating waiting game i was getting ready, decided i was gunna wear my super cute OnHerCam tank top…and as im putting my make up on the effing bottle squirts/explodes on me…FUCK!!!  If anyone knows how to get concealer out of a white shirt lemme know asap!  Im about to Bleach the shit out of it or something.  So that was anoying i tried scrubbing it with dish soap before washing anything before it set in but that didnt work.  Bleh….See the chain of events here?

And then….some dude kept knocking on my door, wtf?  so i scramble to throw a towel on since im only in a thong right now haha, and he just is leaving the phone books…..you couldnt have just left it at my door step like everyone elses in the building?  Guess not, that would just make sense.  And as he hands it to me he like trips a lil, and steps on my dog, he starts yelping freaking out and pee’s all over my front entrance carpet.  Its also cleaned now and not a big deal, but its been a fristrating few hrs.  I know there are people with real issues to deal with, but i just wanted the day to go smoothly, and that didnt happen haha.

Soooooo, now that ive chilled out, i had a few shots of some schnapps haha that definitely helped!  Called fire and ice, take a shot of  cinnamon, and then one of peppermint.  Yum!  Im feeling mucho better and the only thing that culd make my night awesome and forget about the rest is prolly masterbating haha….so anyone wanna join me?
~xoxo

I’m not enjoying living in WA at the moment.  My sun envy is taking away my love of the greenery.  I dont wanna live anywere else tho, just go visit and bask in some sun.  We had a total of one sunny perfect day, last week on saturday.  Before then, and since….its been cloudy/rainy/sun teaser/rain/clouds/more rain…..wtf???  Technically its not summer yet, ive got like 5 or so days till the official summer equinox haha……crosses fingers there will be SUN!!!!

Anywho, so not much is really going on lately since ive just been a hermit in my house, taking care of my puppy he got sick yesterday, hes doing better now tho, i think he ate something weird at some point.  Thankfully hes doing mucho better compaired to yesterday at least.  Him and I both actually.  I got this new cappuccino mix stuff, you just mix it with hot water and omg its so tasty….i had like 5 or 6 glasses the other day, and tried to go to bed at 6am and felt like i was comming off crack or something haha, i kept twitching, clenching my freaking teeth, thinking all this crazy shit ahhhhh!!!  So lesson learned, maybe just drink one cup of cappuccino a day hah.

Well anywho…i hope summer shows up soon, i miss the sun, basking in it, chillen at the river, with a blanket, a 6pack of blue moon, a mp3 player, snacks and friends….my favorite summer past time is doing  just that!  Im so ready, im there like every single day just relaxing, its so serene and beautiful!  Hmmf, well till then, i guess ill continue to hermit it up in my house and take sexy pics and vids lmao……the launch is eminent!!!!
~xoxo

So i was taking a dish out of the oven earlier….i had just gotten out the shower and my hair was a bit damp, so i didnt have it up as i should have, but wanted it to dry faster (i hate using the blow dryer)….so anywho….some of my hair near my face slipped down and hit the oven rack and singed, thankfully it WAS damp still or who effing knows how much of it would have gone up….so i went n cut the dead ends off and now have like, a tad bit of side swept bangs on one side of my face……not exactly a look im fond of on myself.  CRAP!!!  My hair grows fast anyways, and i was planning on going n getting it trimmed next week regardless, so i guess its not THAT big of a deal, but, i didnt want bangs!  I might still muster up enough “ok Cam, you still look hot” in my head….but at the moment im a lil irked and feel especially tarded, so im not on cam at the moment as i planned yesterday haha….well see later tho, im sure ill get over it in a bit…i have new understanding for the girls who cry when they cut off all there hair on top model lmao, i thought oh whatever i could do it, but the second my shit singed, i was like omg omg omg i almsot cried….it wasnt much tho so, ill live.

Regardless my salmon turned out spectacular!  Ive been on a cooking roll today, made pancakes this morning, and then i made some salmon topped with pesto baked dish….that was my doom!  but yes, it was tasty still.

Im gunna sit here n sulk for another hour or two and watch retarded reality tv….theres so many freaking reality shows its unreal!  i think im watching something about housewives right now…although, i havent once yet seen either there house nor husbands, so i dont really get it…it should be named, chicks who eat lunch with other chicks they dont really like that much….

~xoxo

Heya guys so I’m on FINALLY!  Still need a stupid adapter for the ethernet to work in the other rooms so I’m at the desk haha, but whatevs it works!  So come by n catch me, ill be on for a few hrs tonight!  Wearing this:

Clicky here to get to my live cam!

So i had a blast!  Camping was awesome!  A lil cold tho, and windy, but fun none the less.  The hills were beautiful, and the river, and all the wild life.  We got there thursday afternoon and set up and our spot was right on the river, was really nice listening to it at night, and enjoying friends and drinks and fire!  Haha we burnt through so much wood it was crazy, then the guy camping next to us, we sorta adopted him into our campsite cause he was all alone.  we then found out that he was a hitch hiker, made it all the way from Maine in 2 weeks.  I guess the job mrket sucks there so he headed west, like a pioneer, it was pretty rad he had alot of interesting stories about the road.  We made him camp with us once we realized he had like nothing really, so we fed him, lots of food and booze haha, and then on our way back to seattle, gave him a ride as well, it was the last leg of his journey and i hope he makes it!

I also found a salamander, i named him Sally lol.  he was my friend for all of a few minutes and i let him go in the woods.  It was a awesome trip.  In the morning i surprised everyone and made mimosas haha, who brings champagne camping?  I do!!  Its a tradition in my family when we have brunches so i was like well, were cooking brunch on a fire i shall bring the drinks!  I think its now a tradition amongst my friends as well lol, well see next weekend cause were headed out to float the river then too….this was a test run camping i guess.  (its gunna be nicer this comming weekend too…..nude tanning ftw!!)

Well anywho, i still feel a bit out of it haha, but definitely recharged, heres a few pics i got before my camera died, ill definitely be bringing two batteries for it this comming weekend…its gunna be hot, and were gunna be naked!  My friends are more nude friendly in public then i am haha, so itll be fun.

Heh i even managed to sneak in some boobs for yall!!!
~xoxo